Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Taking My Cue From Rosa...Again

Congratulations Rosa on Post # 300!
Rosa’s writing this month on de-cluttering one’s life (‘Ōpala ‘ole ) has been meaningful to me, especially in light of my current state of being overwhelmed at work (project overload) and home (the houseguest learning curve). In particular, I quote the following:

Self-reflection on what you consider your own responsibilities to be, can be a big help to you in discarding some of your clutter.

When you consider all you do in your life, exactly what do [you] feel strongest about, in that you feel it is your responsibility and no one else’s?

That last phrase, “and no one else’s” is the key. Ask yourself very honestly: what are you doing that is someone else’s responsibility?

Here’s another question. Why are you still doing it?

Do you have to clarify it and decide on your next action? Do you have to train someone else in it, and coach them? Or do you have to just let it go, and cut your own emotional ties to it? Will you allow someone else to take it from you?

There’s something else I want you to keep in mind here: you don’t have to give away what you don’t want to. I’ve written before on my belief that instinctive wanting is a good thing.

This last paragraph made me want to cry…we can truly be our own worst enemies.

The above quote’s thesis was a continuation from a post Rosa wrote March 15 – Jay noted it on our blog around that time – but I feel this point is worth highlighting again and again and again:

…people feel drained when they are called upon to do things that they simply have no desire to do: There seems to be this instinctive natural selection process we are born with — it’s called wanting. Strengths are best defined as predictable patterns of behavior you gravitate toward because it’s natural for you. It’s kind of nice to know that one of the best things you can do for yourself is listen to that inner voice telling you what you want to do, for no other intellectual, logical, pragmatic, or perfectly sensible reason other than that you WANT to be doing it.

Emotional, gut level instincts are rich sources of water.

Problem is, we’re continually trained by others — our parents, our teachers, our bosses — to stifle those feelings, buck up, and be an adult — to try harder. Try harder at something you just don’t want to do, and you can bet you’ll feel drained.

If others are confusing you about what you should want for yourself, don’t listen to them. Trust yourself. Let your instincts guide you: succumb to those emotional feelings about what you want to do. Believe that your wants are your natural selection process aligned with your innate strengths.

Wanting is a good thing.

If Rosa says it is a "good thing," as opposed to a selfish practice, then I will trust that she knows what she is talking about... and follow her very good advice.


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