HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

"Bleah, " I thought when I arrived at work this morning. "Valentines Day. What an overcommercialized excuse for a non-holiday! No time off, no spiritual purpose, just BUY BUY BUY! BUY CANDY! BUY FLOWERS! BUY CARDS AND DINNERS AND....bleah"

But then... Next to my computer terminal was a small chocolate heart, and I thought "Awww, How sweet!" Then I thought "I should have bought something for so and so at the office"

DANGER DANGER --- RED ALERT ---- VALENTINES GUILT SETS IN

"Maybe people will think I'm a bad person if I don't get them chocolates. Maybe I will be looked down upon as the office miser - then I will be shunned at the office party, I will get all the bad clients, and I will have nobody to go to lunch with...Ever...Oh No!"

So I rush out to the nearest drugstore, and spend $10,100.00 on Valentines day merchandise (because this is the day when everything is at it's MOST EXPENSIVE) (you can't wait until tomorrow when everything goes on sale because then it's not Valentines day anymore and the gift DOESN'T COUNT!) I carefully wrap each cinnamon heart individually, proud of my Martha Stewart like efficiency, and I give 20 pound gift baskets to all 120 people in my workplace. Then I sit back and wait to bask in the glory of my Valentinsy goodness.


.............Long pause........
........."Cinnamon Hearts? Oh, I'm Allergic"......

This story is all true (at least up until the rushing out to the store part) :)