Monday, April 04, 2005

The longest 10 months of my life....

And me right in the middle of them.

Like most of us, whenever I start to make positive changes in my life I want everything to pay off RIGHT AWAY. As we all know, unless you live in a sitcom or a movie universe, pay off just doesn't happen that way... sigh.

Back in November (I think I've mentioned this briefly in some other posts) I made a decision to go back to school and finish m bachelors degree in Applied Communications (ie. media studies, ie. new media, ie. blogs, websites, video etc = great fit for me). I applied to this school in November, and was accepted (hooray) sometime around December. My program starts in August.

Now I know I'm going to sound like a big whiny cry baby over this, but I'm putting it out in the open because I know we all experience the same feelings even if we don't tell: IT'S TAKING SOOOOOOOO LONG! I want to start Now - or better yet, last week. I feel like I'm waiting for my new life to begin, but every week just inches by - slower than molasses.

This is compounded by the fact that I tend to romanticize things, so right now school feels like the answer to all my problems (even though logically I know there are always good and bad results from every decision we make.)

So what do I need to do: For starters stop focusing on the future (or past) and start living in the present. Start being thankful for all the things I DO have instead of focusing on what I don't enjoy about my life. These are skills everybody has to work on, and I think that my "longest 10 months ever" has come to teach me how to be a more patient person. Somebody able to live more in the moment.

In this moment I am thankful for: My loving husband and supportive family; Friends close by, such as Nigel and TM who I can share my experiences with; Friends that I haven't met yet, like Rosa and many others who offer unconditional support even though we have never met; And many other influences and supporters in my life: too numerous to name.

I am thankful for the roof over my head, the full belly and the job that makes all these things possible. I am thankful for my creative mind, that will not let me rest until I find my place in the world. I am thankful that I live in a beautiful city, and a great country.

Feel better now?

I do.


Blogger Rosa Say said...

I'm thankful for you too Jay :-)
Sending thoughts of aloha your way,

11:46 PM  

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